The Little Things

Lately I have been feeling a little overwhelmed. Lots of changes are happening all around me, and I have been feel pressure to make some changes myself, and by gosh those changes better be the right ones.

If I had a dollar for the number of times I have been asked "What do you want?" or "What happens next for you?" in the last few months, I would be able to not have to worry about the answers to those questions. I would be able to sit by my hot tub and veg with a bottle of champagne.

Despite my mounting number of grey hairs I still don't feel like an adult or someone who needs to make important life decisions.

We babysat my co-workers daughter this past week and it dawned on my that I hadn't babysat since I was in my early teens. It felt a bit strange and I realized how little our house is equipped for children; not that it needs to be I guess. It also became apparent that I wasn't sure what kids liked to eat. Mostly she wanted the cookies, I relented with one only to have a chocolaty hand smear on my pants a moment later. Sadly, they weren't even homemade.

I remember a Friends episode where Monica talked about wanting to be the mom who made the perfect chocolate chip cookies. I think about that whenever the thought of children crosses my mind. I am terrible at making cookies and I am not sure why. My muffins can rival any bakeries, my cakes are generally tasty, I make a mean crumble, but successful cookies have always eluded me.

A few weeks ago after I finished making a particularly disappointing set of chocolate cookies I made silent promise to stop trying to make cookies for a while. One batch of muffins in the last three weeks, that is it. When I came across the below recipe I had a renewed sense of hope. No they are not cookies, but they are a sort of cookie bar. They are really easy (I assume something that is good if you are a mom) and quick and they keep for a week.

I'm not sure what is next for me or even what the right next step is. But I can now make a really good cookie bar. It's the little things that count.

Salted Toffee-Chocolate Squares

Adapted from Everyday Food May 2010

Makes 24 squares

13 graham crackers

1 bag of toffee bits (8oz or a little less)

1 1/2 cups finely chopped peanuts

1/2 cup sugar (yes the real stuff)

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter

3/4 cup chocolate chips

3/4 tsp coarse salt

1. Preheat over to 350. Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil. Place graham crackers in a single layer on sheet, edges touching. Sprinkle toffee bits and peanuts over the graham crackers.

2. In a small saucepan, bring sugar and butter to a boil over medium-high. Reduce heat and cook at a rapid simmer, swirling pan occasionally, until mixture is syrupy, 2 minutes. Immediately pour over graham crackers. Bake until sugar topping is bubbling, 12 minutes. Remove from oven and immediately sprinkle chocolate and salt over graham crackers. With a sharp knife or pizza cutter, cut into 2 inch squares. Let cool completely in pan on a wire rack. (Store in an air tight container, up to 1 week)